Writing and praying behind closed doors: 7) Deep Peace

Deep Peace

a child sitting in my inexperienced arms

my godson contented

chewing on the handle of a teaspoon 

his solid chubby hand opens

the spoon drops with a clink to the floor

his arm reaches

his right hand grasps


his fingers tighten on the blue stocky form of the glasses case

which I had grappled to find within a crinkly plastic bag 

to stop his hands slapping and slamming on the table top

restless until they found something to clasp


my cheek brushes the top of his feathery fair hair

feeling the warmth of his head

alive and busy with learning

everything new


distantly I am aware of  L and J talking beside me

I stop listening to them 

can no longer hear what is being said

my focus is on my godson 

the others might not even be there

I am absorbed in his world

safe and secure 

no longer self-conscious that other’s might be watching me



time elapses yet stands still

and I feel a deep peacefulness

the happy child sitting on my knee

like having a purring cat curled on my lap 

a stronger feeling even than that




the moment passes 

I am back amongst


the Christening party.


(Written February 2008 following the Christening)

(This  post is dedicated to my good friend Joy and her husband Andrew. They are both brave and loving and asked me to be a godmother to their second son when I was still mourning the loss of my third miscarriage. Because of them I received this moment of blessing which I continue to cherish.)


About Gentle Breeze

Julia is married to Kevin. They live together in Todmorden with their black and white cat Willow. Todmorden is a small rural town nestling among the Pennine hills in the Upper Calder Valley, on the border of West Yorkshire and Lancashire. Julia is a mixture of contradictions. She happily shares her email address with her husband; yet when she married she kept her own surname.
This entry was posted in Christianity, Miscarriage, Spirituality and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Writing and praying behind closed doors: 7) Deep Peace

  1. Don Merritt says:

    Absolutely beautiful Julia! Thank you for sending me here to read it this morning!

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